Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize