Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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