i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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