Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
