You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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