3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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