So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
