I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
