I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
