i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
