This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
