It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
