I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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