remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
