My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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