Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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