She is in my trunk
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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