My brain says no but my pants say off.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
