My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
