I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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