Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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