There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
