Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize