Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
