I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
