u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i can't believe i had my finger in that
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
