ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
