We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
