I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Please don't give away my fajitas
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