KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize