You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
