i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
