yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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