I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
