You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize