does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
