im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
