I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
