wrigley field is MILF paradise
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
