do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
