i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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