I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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