Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
