A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
