I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Princesses don't give blow jobs
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
