So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
