No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
