So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize