...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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