I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
