what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
