Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
