its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
