but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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