How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
