You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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