the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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