It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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