my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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