Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
