I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
