is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize